We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'

22 quotes from Phyllis Diller: 'Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.', 'A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.', and 'Cleaning your house w...

“I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Aug 21, 2012 · "I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose ...