Yehuda Lave, Spiritual Advisor and Counselor

Yehuda Lave is an author, journalist, psychologist, rabbi, spiritual teacher and coach, with degrees in business, psychology and Jewish Law. He works  with people from all walks of life and helps them in their search for greater happiness, meaning, business advice on saving money,  and spiritual engagement

Judge People Favorably to avoid Anger

There is a mitzvah in the Torah to judge people favorably (Leviticus 19:15). When we fulfill this commandment properly, we will not get angry with others.

Whenever you get angry with someone, it is because you are blaming him for doing or not doing something. If you realize that it's not his fault, you won't be angry with him. For example, if someone took your umbrella, you might get angry with him. If, however, you find out that he is blind and mistakenly thought he was taking his own umbrella, you won't be angry.

By making it your habit to judge people favorably, you will be able to assume that perhaps the person made an honest mistake, and had different intentions than you assumed.

While we should be on guard to protect ourselves from possible harm, when nothing practical can be done about a situation, we should not assume guilt. Keep asking yourself, "How can I judge this person favorably?"

Love Yehuda Lave

Happy Rosh Hodesh with a prayer for children

Dear Friends,

The SheLah Hakadosh composed a special tefilloh for parents to recite on behalf of the welfare of their children. Although this tefilloh may be recited at any time, the SheLah Hakadosh said that the optimal time for parents to recite this prayer is Erev Rosh Chodesh Sivan for that is the month when HaShem gave us the Torah, and when the Jewish people began to be called His Children. The SheLah Hakadosh further writes that fathers and mothers should give charity to the poor and repent on Erev Rosh Chodesh Sivan and should even fast, if they can.

Press HERE for a link to the Tefilla of the SheLah Hakadosh, a "Parent's prayer".

May all our prayers be answered.

A word about the SheLah Hakadosh:
ISAIAH BEN ABRAHAM HA-LEVI HOROWITZ (SheLah Hakadosh) (Prague, Bohemia-Tiberias, Eretz Israel) Rabbi, kabbalist, and Jewish leader known as the SheLah Hakadosh for his major work "Shnai Luchot Habrit" (Two Tablets of the Covenant) which combines Halachah and Kabbalah as a way of life.
He moved to Eretz Israel in 1621 after the death of his wife. In 1625 he was arrested with many other Rabbis and held for ransom. The SheLah served as leader and Ashkenazi Rabbi in Jerusalem. He used his personal wealth to financially support the community. The SheLaH strongly believed that he was privileged to be able to observe the commandments tied to the land of Israel. He is buried next to the Rambam in Tiberias.

I Think I Can’: Rabbi Akiva and the Power to Believe By Elana Mizrahi

I sit in the park and watch two mothers with their toddlers.

One holds her daughter’s hand as the child takes wobbly steps. She lets go. The child stands and looks at her mother. The mother says, “Come on, you can do it.” Sometimes, the child steps forward; sometimes, she falls and then picks herself up. The child learns to walk.

The other mother, she’s nervous. Maybe She falls and then picks herself up it’s her first child, and she’s never done this before. Maybe it’s her personality. She holds onto the child. The child makes an attempt to let go, but the mother holds her back and says, “No, no my love, you’ll fall!” The child looks into her mother’s scared eyes and becomes scared herself, so she doesn’t try. Eventually, with the right tools and the right help, the child learns to walk, timidly.

I accompany a woman on her birth. As the birth of her baby draws near, she almost always shakes her head and cries, “I can’t do this!” I make her look into my eyes and repeat these words, “With G‑d’s help, I can do this.” She repeats the phrase over and over, and soon the baby comes into the world.

I’ve worked for many years now with women. I hear over and over, “I can’t ... change, give birth, get over, heal from ... ” I always ask them, “Why not? Who says that you can’t? With G‑d’s help, you can.”

I look at my children, from the smallest to the biggest, and I constantly tell them over and over, “G‑d willing, you can!” I tell my husband over and over, “With G‑d’s help, you can, this will happen ... ” I fall down and don’t want to get up, and I tell myself, “Elana, with G‑d’s help, you can.”

I know it gives them strength. I certainly know it gives me strength. But what exactly is the strength that we tap into by saying, “G‑d willing, you can; I can?”

There was a smart beautiful woman that lived many years ago. Her name was Rachel. Her father was one of the wealthiest men in Israel. This may sound like a storybook tale, but it’s true. Rachel fell in love with her father’s employee, an illiterate man named Akiva. Akiva had tremendous potential. She saw clearly what was inside of him. She saw his exemplary character, his modesty and scrupulous dedication to mitzvot. She wanted to marry him. Her father refused. She married him anyway, and her father disinherited her. After a short while, Rachel, without knowing what the outcome would be, made a decision to encourage Akiva to go far away to study Torah. It wasn’t his idea but hers.

She lived in dire poverty for many, many years while he was away. This was before telephones and email. Long-distance communication was basically non-existent. Rachel had no idea that Akiva was progressing tremendously in his studies. She had no idea that he was becoming one of the most famed rabbis and teachers of all time. All she knew was that G‑d created Akiva with great potential and strengths, and she believed in them.

When Rabbi AkivaRachel had no idea that Akiva was progressing tremendously came back from studying, 24,000 students accompanied him. When he saw his wife, he stood up before them, and what did he tell them?

“What’s mine [greatness, achievements, wisdom] and what’s yours comes from her [merit and encouragement].”

That’s right; it was hers. How? Because she believed in him? Not exactly. Rachel believed in the potential that G‑d gave him, and that belief gave him the power to believe in it, too. With that belief, he was able to try—and trying is all we can do.

In life, we have fears. There is a fear of failure and a fear of being let down. We have fears of not being in control and fears of pain or disappointment.

What was the message that Rachel gave Akiva? What was the message that led to his greatness? “Put the fears aside and don’t get stuck on thinking that you know or can control the outcome. Tap into your G‑d-given strengths and activate your potential by believing in it.”

She believed, he believed, and G‑d made it happen.

A child has the potential to walk. Why not believe in it?

A couple has the potential to have children. Why not believe in it?

A person has the potential to change and grow and heal. Why not believe in that?

We believe, and with G‑d’s will, the potential becomes a reality.

By Elana Mizrahi Originally from northern California and a Stanford University graduate, Elana Mizrahi now lives in Jerusalem with her husband and children. She is a women's health & spiritual wellness coach, doula, massage therapist, writer, and author of Dancing Through Life, a book for Jewish women. She also teaches Jewish marriage classes for brides. More from Elana Mizrahi  |  RSS

How to Teach Self-Worth

To teach someone how to act G-dly, you must help them understand that they are G-dly. Chana Weisberg is the editor of TheJewishWoman.org. She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of five popular books.

The Rebbe and Herman Wouk’s Fascinating, Decades-Long Relationship In novels, plays and nonfiction, Wouk displayed the burning flame of Jewish life, belief and practice By Dovid Margolin May 23, 2019

The article is too long to post. Here is the URL for those who want to read the article.

 

https://www.chabad.org/news/article_cdo/aid/4393510/jewish/The-Rebbe-and-Herman-Wouks-Fascinating-Decades-Long-Relationship.htm#utm_medium=email&utm_source=1_chabad.org_magazine_en&utm_campaign=en&utm_content=content

Why God Is a He by Dennis Prager

Is God a man, a woman, or a genderless force that cannot be identified by masculine or feminine traits? Society offers a range of ideas, but what do religious texts have to say about this immutable characteristic of God? Dennis Prager offers some insightful answers. Get Dennis Prager's new book The Rational Bible: Genesis by clicking here: https://amzn.to/2VvIhW5

Charles Bukowski words of wisdom

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting. Charles Bukowski

Almost everybody is born a genius and buried an idiot. Charles Bukowski

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. Charles Bukowski

An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way. Charles Bukowski

Never get out of bed before noon. Charles Bukowski poet, novelist, and short story writer.

Dad Says Goodbye to ‘Miracle’ Baby Weeks After Wife Dies Giving Birth Kim Davis By Kim Davis

Matthew and Lauren Accurso, high school sweethearts who had been together for 20 years, had been anticipating the arrival of their fourth child, a boy.

Baby Matthew Jr. was supposed to enter the world and be joyfully brought home to meet his three big sisters, Ali Rose, 8, Naomi Belle, 5, and Layne Louise, 2.

But the Accurso family’s hopes came to a devastating halt when Lauren, 37, suddenly died during childbirth on April 29. According to the family’s GoFundMe page, her death was “an unpreventable and very rare medical emergency.”

Matthew Jr. was whisked into the NICU, fighting for his tiny life and “suffering from significant brain injury due to a prolonged period without oxygen during his birth,” according to a May 14 Facebook post.

In the midst of grieving for his wife and caring for his three daughters, Accurso did all he could to be at the hospital with his newborn son.

While it appeared the baby’s health was improving at first, things took a sad turn for the worse.

Accurso wrote a letter, posted on Facebook by his pastor, Matt McCloghry, to thank everyone who had been supporting his family during such a chaotic, sad time.

Accurso explained the heart-wrenching decision he had to make to take Matthew Jr. off life support and spoke of the miracle that his baby’s life had been.

“Today was one of the hardest days of my life. It will forever be etched in my brain. I sat in a room at Wolfsons hospital with 15 highly qualified medical professionals who all care deeply for our son Matthew. Unfortunately, the last thing I ever thought I would have to talk about as a father was now very real and happening,” Accurso wrote.

“For those of you who may not know, Matthew is suffering from significant brain injury due to a prolonged period without oxygen during his birth.”

“As a result, several serious complications related to cognitive function and development have become a reality for Matthew. At this time Matthew is being supported by a breathing machine requiring an airway tube, and also a feeding tube.

“Based on the severity of his condition Matthew will not be able to sustain life without these medical devices in place, what we would typically describe as ‘life support’. Over the past few weeks doctors have attempted to wean him off the machines, but sadly the results have not been positive.”

“I wanted to whisk him away to our family condo on the beach and let the healing kisses of his sisters, grandmas and cousins cleanse his little body of all his infirmities, but as life sometimes does, I was brought back down to the reality that my only son, the sweet boy that my wife so diligently and lovingly carried for 9 months is in a situation that daddy could not fix.

“The ONLY hope in all of this could only come from his heavenly daddy who placed breathe in Matthews lungs from the very beginning,” Accurso continued.

“TODAY, I was faced with something no father should ever have to face. The decision to place Matthew on endless life supporting contraptions and medications or allow God to carry him where He will.

“So many thoughts have run through my head. ‘What more can I give Lord, you have my soul mate and now my son? That is all I can bear. Please shower your mercy over me. This weight is too great!'”

Accurso went on to explain that his only son’s life had been a miracle.

“Some will hear our story and think, what an awful tragedy.

“Some will think, where is God when we need him?

“Some will say, see, miracles don’t happen.”

“But do you want the truth? Matthew is a living miracle. See, Matthews coming into the world was far from normal. The minute his mommy took her last breath Matthew was thrust from the most peaceful world one could ever know into a chaotic frenzy to save his mother and him,” he explained.

“Without an ounce of oxygen he made it in an ambulance, to an emergency room, through an emergency c-section and into a NICU. Matthew then defied all odds and opened his eyes, breathed on his own, pumped blood through his strong heart, moved his limbs without rigidity and even made coo noises.

“His body slowly began to function, and he even gripped my finger when from what we were told, that should have been impossible.”

“Often times we consider things miracles when the miracle looks how we want it to look. What I’ve learned is that miracles are miracles whether we choose to see them or not. My miracle was having my soul mate by my side for almost 20 years and then being so blessed to give her 4 gorgeous babies,” Accurso wrote.

“My miracle is holding my son for as many precious moments as possible and when the time comes, lifting him up to his mommy so that she can hold him for the first time in paradise.”

On May 17, McCloghry posted an update to let everyone know that baby Matthew passed away. He was held in his father’s arms until his final moment, surrounded by close friends and family.

GoFundMe campaign has been set up to help see the Accurso family through this sorrowful

Koolulam | Free The Music | AIPAC & The Tower of David in a Duet | March 24th, 2019

On March 24th, at the general session of the AIPAC Annual Conference in Washington D.C., Koolulam brought 18,000 people together to sing an original song for the first time in Koolulam history. Together with a simultaneous broadcast of 1,000 Israelis singing the same song at the Old City of Jerusalem, the United States and Israel sent a message - the two countries are connected for good. Koolulam is a social-musical initiative, meant to bring together people from any and all walks of life. Our Idea is to simply stop everything for a few hours and just sing - together.

The Double Standard on Killing Jews in California and Israel By Daniel Greenfield

When a Neo-Nazi gunman opened fire in a California synagogue, his targets included 9-year-old Noya Dahan and her uncle, Almog Peretz.

The Dahan family had moved to California from Sderot, an Israeli city a mile away from Gaza populated mostly by Jewish refugees from Muslim countries, which had become a symbol of life under rocket fire.

Obama visited Israel when he was running for office, and stopped by Sderot. He met a boy who had lost his leg to a rocket attack, saw a collection of rockets that had fallen on Israeli homes, and told the locals, “if missiles were falling where my two daughters sleep, I would do everything in order to stop that.”

But when Israel tried to stop missiles from falling on Sderot, Obama did everything possible, not to stop the missiles from falling on Sderot, but to stop Israel. When Obama returned to Israel in 2013, he didn’t visit Sderot. But shrapnel from a Hamas rocket fired during his visit landed in a Sderot kindergarten.

After the shooting at Chabad of Poway, Almog Peretz told reportersthat his experience in Sderot, where residents may have minutes to get children to safety before a rocket hits, had prepared him to save the children being shot at in the synagogue. “This is sad, but I am originally from Sderot, so we know a bit about running from the Kassam rockets.”

A little over a week after the Poway shooting, rockets are once falling on Sderot.

Once again, the walls of a Sderot kindergarten were gouged by shrapnel. Photos showed debris and holes in the wall above a blackboard reading, “My Israel”.

Moshe Feder, a 68-year-old man, was driving near Sderot when a Russian anti-tank missile struck his car. When paramedics arrived, they found the father and grandfather bleeding to death next to his vehicle.

Hamas then published a video of the successful strike by the anti-tank missile on a passenger van.

A co-worker described him as “the kind of manager who took care of everyone, both those who worked with him and those who did not.”

When a Neo-Nazi gunman shot at Noya Dahan, everyone condemned it as a crime. But when Hamas shot a rocket at a kindergarten, the media reactions have ranged from praise to equivocation. Media accounts have routinely refused to identify Hamas as the perpetrators of the attack, claiming instead that Israel is at war with Gaza, to discuss the 600+ rockets fired on Israel or mention the Israeli deaths.

But is there really a difference between trying to murder Jewish children in California or Israel?

How would Muslim terrorists trying to kill Noya in Sderot be more morally acceptable than her attempted murder in Poway?

Had Moshe Feder been shot while praying in the Chabad of Poway on the final day of Passover, he would have been considered an innocent victim. But because he was instead driving a van near Gaza, the media erases him, ignores his murder, or describes its perpetrators as militants, not murderers.

A bigot who shoots up a synagogue in California is a killer. But a bigot who shoots an anti-tank missile at a passenger van in Israel is a militant.

It’s murder when it happens in California, but it’s militancy when it happens in Israel.

Rabbi Pinchas Menachem Prezuazman became the latest of the many American citizens who have been killed by Islamic terrorists in Israel. The New Yorker was on his way to pray in a synagogue when a rocket hit. He became the fourth and final Israeli casualty of the Islamic terror rockets in this battle.

As of this writing, not a single mainstream media outlet has taken the time to mention the name of a United Stated citizen and a rabbi murdered by Islamic terrorism.

Had Rabbi Prezuazman been killed on the way to a synagogue in California by a Neo-Nazi, we would all know his name. There would be interviews with his family and photos splashed across CNN.

But he was killed on the way to a synagogue in Ashdod, Israel, by Islamic terrorists.

And so the media has decided to bury his name, along with his body, in its deepest news vaults.

The media’s message is that Jews murdered by Neo-Nazis in a synagogue are worthy of sympathy, but Jews murdered on the way to synagogue by Islamic terrorists don’t deserve compassion or mercy.

The former are innocent victims while the latter are politically inconvenient to the media narrative.

After the Chabad of Poway shooting, the media argued that people with hateful views should be banned from social media. But while Hamas, an arm of the Muslim Brotherhood, was murdering Jews in Israel, the media was vocally arguing against President Trump’s proposed ban for the Muslim Brotherhood.

Nobody in the media is calling on Twitter to take down Hamas’ official account on the site.

Facebook’s recent wave of deplatforming left intact the Facebook page of Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal where he declares that, “Just as Islamic Iran defends the rights of the Palestinians, we defend the rights of Islamic Iran. We are part of a united front against the enemies of Islam.”

(Another Facebook profile with Meshaal’s name and picture was only used to play online poker.)

This obscene double standard isn’t about killing Jews. It’s about who does the killing.

The media would like us to believe that it cares about anti-Semitism. Its conduct shows that’s a lie. It not only defends politicians like Rep. Ilhan Omar and Rep. Rashida Tlaib when they engage in anti-Semitism.

It defends Islamic terrorists when they murder Jews. It covers for them and whitewashes their crimes.

The New York Times and the Washington Post have published a dozen different defenses of the Muslim Brotherhood in the last two weeks. They have yet to do a story about the Rabbi the Brotherhood killed.

And the odds are good that they never will.

Both outlets have transformed Jamal Khashoggi: a Muslim Brotherhood terror apologist working as a lobbyist for Hamas’ Qatari masters, into a saint. Khashoggi was an anti-Semite who had praised and celebrated Hamas. Like the Chabad of Poway gunman, he believed that the Protocols of the Elders of Zion was an actual document of a Jewish conspiracy. He even appeared to flirt with Holocaust denial.

The manifesto by the Chabad of Poway gunman closely echoes many of the same themes as the Hamas charter. Both depict Jews as a race of malignant plunderers who must be exterminated by any means.

But the media has a double standard on bigoted killers who believe that Jews must be wiped off the face of the earth depending on whether they’re fascists or Islamofascists.

You can believe, in the words of the original Hamas charter, that “Judaism and Jews” are the enemy, that Jews are behind the “drug trade and alcoholism”, and that the Jews will ultimately be exterminated.

And you’re still a ‘militant’ as long as you’re a Muslim. Otherwise you’re a horrible bigoted monster.

If you’re not a Muslim, believing these things means that you should be banished from social media. But if you are a Muslim, then sanctioning those same beliefs by listing the Muslim Brotherhood as a terror group, according to a Washington Post editorial, would “make all Muslims scapegoats”.

Opposing the murder of Jews only when you disagree with the other political views of the murderers isn’t opposition to anti-Semitism.

It is anti-Semitism.

The double standard that stretches across the 7,600 miles that separate Sderot and Poway is the measure of the media’s cynicism, its anti-Semitism, and its complicity in the murder of Jews.

When you only oppose those anti-Semitic murderers who don’t share your politics, you support murder.

The media doesn’t oppose the anti-Semitic murder of Jews. It opposes Neo-Nazis. When killer with the same view of Jews, but who are allied with the progressive movement, kill Jews, that’s not a problem.

Judith Butler once observed that, “understanding Hamas, Hezbollah as social movements that are progressive, that are on the Left, that are part of a global Left, is extremely important.”

Understanding the global Left as a murderous anti-Semitic movement is extremely important.

Daniel Greenfield is an Israeli born blogger and columnist, and a Shillman Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center. His work covers American, European and Israeli politics as well as the War on Terror. His writing can be found at http://sultanknish.blogspot.com/ These opinions do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Press.

See you tomorrow

Love Yehuda Lave

Rabbi Yehuda Lave

2850 Womble Road, Suite 100-619, San Diego
United States

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