HAMDEN, CT—Showing an alarming level of doubt from within the president’s own party, a poll released Wednesday by Quinnipiac University found a majority of Democratic voters would prefer someone else inhabit Joe Biden’s body in the next presidential election. “Most Democrats surveyed would rather see a younger, more in-touch candidate occupying President Biden’s corporeal form in 2024,” said pollster Vanessa Hilkinger, confirming that nearly 64% of party members would be partial to a new standard-bearer who was willing to fight harder for progressive policies from within the incumbent’s re-electable physical exterior. “A significant number also said they might not vote at all in the general election unless they were presented with a more charismatic and energetic candidate able to seize control of Biden’s thoughts and actions to enact economic, environmental, and healthcare reforms. In addition, approximately half of Democratic voters expressed interest in seeing a younger woman or a person of color piloting Biden’s limbs and using his voice to speak their own words during the 2024 campaign.” According to the poll, most Democrats, when pressed, acknowledged that if the party failed to “put someone younger in there,” they would support the hollow, empty husk of Joe Biden running for president.