14 Jewish Wedding Facts Everyone Should Know
By Menachem Posner
1. A Wedding is Like a Mini–Yom Kippur
A person’s wedding day is comparable to his or her personal Yom Kippur, on which all sins are forgiven. In fact, many follow the custom of fasting on this day.
2. Chuppah Under the Stars
In many communities, the wedding takes place under an open sky, with just a flimsy canopy (chuppah) covering the bride and groom. Among other things, this signifies the open home they plan to build together.
Read: The Chuppah
3. The Ring Is Crucial
The simple gold wedding band that the groom gives the bride during
the ceremony is more than just a sign of marriage. The moment the bride
accepts the ring (or any other item of worth, for that matter) is the
moment that the marriage is actually effected.
Read: The Wedding Ring
4. All Written Up
The marriage contract (ketubah)
enumerates the husband’s obligations to his wife during the marriage
(conjugal, material and emotional), as well as afterwards (she gets
compensated in the event of divorce or the husband’s death).
Read: The Marriage Contract
5. A Couple
(c) Coby Engelhart
The marriage is finalized in an act known as nisuin, in which the wife demonstrates her new status as a bride. This is expressed by standing under the chuppah, being alone as a couple, and even the fact that the brides wears a veil.
Read: Why Does a Bride Wear a Veil?
6. Smash That Glass!
(c) Coby Engelhart
The wedding ceremony comes to an end with the groom smashing a glass with his foot, a reminder that our Holy Temple
is in ruins and that our nation remains fractured. Even in our most
joyous moments, we must remember that our world is far from perfect.
Read: The Breaking of the Glass
7. A Gift
The bride traditionally gifts the groom a new prayer shawl (tallit). In some communities he wears it under the chuppah, and sometimes it is draped over both him and the bride.
8. Dancing Before the Bride
Rabbi Yitzi Hurwitz dancing at the wedding of Sam and Rebecca Lieberman (Photo: Zalmy Berkowitz).
Dancing before the bride is considered an especially meritorious act, even taking precedence over Torah study. The Talmud
enumerates how various sages would dance before brides with myrtle
branches, torches and other accessories. Today, wedding dancing includes
burning hats, silly hats and entire genre of silly stuff known as
“wedding schtick.”
Read: Reception
9. Sing Her Praises
(c) Coby Engelhart
It is customary to praise the bride to the groom, telling him what a
beautiful, graceful, capable and wonderful wife he has. What to do if
she is lacking in certain qualities? The sages have an answer: Stress
the qualities she does have.
Watch: Second Impressions
10. A Joining of Souls
What exactly is everyone celebrating? The Kabbalists teach that the
husband and wife are each two halves of one soul. At their weddings, the
two finally join—and they are whole for the first time.
Read: Taking Someone Else Seriously
11. Put Out Extra Tables
(c) Coby Engelhart
It’s traditional to put out lots of extra food and settings, so that
people in need will feel comfortable joining the celebration and
partaking of the feast.
12. Big Bread
Photo: Chaim Perl Photography/Chaimperl.com
In many circles, the feast officially begins with the groom reciting the Hamotzi blessing over a giant braided challah bread.
13. Seven Days of Fun
The celebration continues for seven days. Any time the bride and groom break bread together with a quorum of 10 men, the Grace After Meals is followed by Sheva Brachot—seven blessings said over glasses of wine, which the bride and groom then drink.
Read: What to Expect at a Sheva Brachot
14. Treating the Newlyweds Like Royalty
(c) Coby Engelhart
“The groom is akin to a king,” goes the saying of the sages, and the
same goes for the bride. So think twice before asking the bride to pass
you a piece of sushi. She’s a queen this week, and deserves to be
treated as such.
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