Sexist Comments Research: Infantilizing/Condescending

To help continue educating the public on what sexism looks like, I am publishing a series of LinkedIn articles that share a sampling of these comments. This 16th (of 18) article shares infantilizing and condescending comments, which is part of the “undervaluing women” category in our study. Here is some general background about this research: To better understand women’s experiences in the state of Utah, researchers Robbyn Scribner, Dr. April Townsend, and I collected and analyzed a wide variety of sexist comments women have experienced. Overall, about 1,750 comments were provided from nearly 850 participants for this Utah Women & Leadership Project (UWLP) study. The goal of the research was to educate the public (both men and women) on the many forms that conscious and unconscious sexist comments can take, from shocking statements to those that are more subtle.

Background

In this study, the broader “Undervaluing Women” theme was broad and included 50.7% of all comments reported in the study. Notably, many of the comments coded in this theme were much more explicit and vulgar than those included in this article. The analysis of the responses within the Undervaluing Women theme produced five specific categories. I will share comments from one of these sections: Infantilizing/Condescending. We define this topic as comments in which women are treated as if they are children or otherwise need to be taken care of, including when men treat women as if they cannot take care of themselves. The 270 (15.4%) comments in this category were most frequently made within the workplace by a man between the ages of 46 and 59 who had authority over the participant.

Comments

First, many comments in this category demonstrated a belief that a woman was under the authority of her husband:

• “My boss makes comments such as, ‘I can’t believe your husband lets you have such a demanding job,’ and ‘What does your husband think of this?’”
• “My husband was approached about a voluntary position I was being asked to do. He would not have any involvement in the role other than supporting me.”
• “A door-to-door salesperson responded to my insistence that we did not want their service by asking me when he could come by and talk to my husband.”
• “He told me I probably need my domestic partner’s approval to submit for a promotion at work.”

Second, many comments revealed a tendency to treat adult women as if they were children:

• “We were in a meeting. I shared an accomplishment and this person said, ‘Our little girl is growing up.’”
• “He patted me on the head and called me adorable.”
• “When I was Relief Society President, someone in [a church leadership meeting] patted me on the hand and basically told me to be quiet when I was expressing an opinion he disagreed with.”
• “My supervisor called my dad and told him how I was doing as an employee (I was about 25 years old at the time).”
• “When walking into the office with a gym bag, a male coworker made the comment that it was ‘cute’ that I went to get a ‘little’ workout before work had started.”

Finally, several comments showed an inappropriate use of authority over women, including supposed religious authority in the workplace:

• “In a work meeting my boss told me, ‘The way you care too much about people is impacted by your relationship with your Heavenly Father. I can help unpack that for you so you can understand.’”
• “A man explained to me (his supervisor) that he was going to ‘allow me’ to do a portion of my job because he prayed about it and God told him to ‘give me a chance.’ This was despite the fact that I was the supervisor, and he couldn’t allow or disallow me to do anything.”
• “This man was speaking in a staff meeting of probably 80% women, about how women should be at home raising their children and have no place in the workforce. There were single women, mothers, single moms, married women, etc. He said a woman’s duty is to get married and have children, then stay home to raise them and let the husband work.”

Speaking up against sexism can be a powerful force for reducing gender inequity around undervaluing women, as it can help others challenge their own biases and model more equitable forms of communication. Further, being prepared to respond to everyday sexism can help women feel more confident in their interactions with others. To learn more about the research and ways women responded, read the brief, “Sexist Comments & Responses: Undervaluing Women.”

Prof./Dr. Susan R. Madsen is a global thought leader, author, speaker, and scholar on the topic of women and leadership. She is also the Inaugural Karen Haight Huntsman Endowed Professor of Leadership in the Jon M. Huntsman School of Business at Utah State University and the Founding Director of the Utah Women & Leadership Project. Thanks to Robbyn T. Scribner and Dr. April Townsend for their great work on this study!