Emojis That Parents Are Still Waiting For

And just as I realized that, snap!

Toys in the shape of allergies, regrets, conspiracies, and more.

“My younger brother was afraid of thunder, / lightning.”

“Note / Its dimensions on brown paper. Otherwise / In the green field of your imagining.”

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and her tongue is governed by kindness.

Viktoria & Harry, you are a perfect match. Viktoria, you put food in your mouth, chew it, and swallow. Harry also puts food in his mouth, chews it, and swallows.

A dystopian drama.

“Union Busting,” “Court Stacking,” “Deregulating,” and more badges you can earn in our new oligarchy.

Which father knows best?

Problem: Moving wall of spikes completes migration across room, but victim is not impaled. Cause: Safety tips left on spikes?

Chuck Schumer, Hakeem Jeffries, and Nancy Pelosi practice some self-care.

“Now I’m an adult, restraining the impulse / to elegize what is still alive.”