1. Acting Like You’re 70: Don’t stop doing, acting, dressing, talking, like you did before you turned 70. Get the word “old” out of your head. 70 is nothing more than a number. I’ve got ten more of those numbers behind my name and don’t feel any different than I did at your age and at an even younger age. Aging is a process, growing old is a choice.
2. Listening To People Who Tell You You’re Too Old For That: There’s nothing you can’t do at 70 that you did when you were younger. Maybe a little slower or differently than you did it before, but you can still do it. Plus trying even new things you’ve always wanted to try. Nothing says you can’t try sky diving at 70. People have jumped out of planes at 90.
3. Sitting Around And Getting Bored: The last thing you want to do in your retirement years is retire. There’s a world out there you finally have the time to enjoy and explore. At 80 I’m so busy doing new things and going new places I don’t have time to just sit around. And don’t give up on your love life, even if it does embarrass your kids when they find out mom and dad still have sex. If only they’re so lucky when they’re your age.

What three things should a person do when they’re past 70? (I try to live by each of these, and my extended family really appreciates it.)

1. Be really, really nice. The older you get the more like yourself you become. Avoid being not nice! Seriously, personalities get amplified with age. As your mind weakens, you don’t want to be that old person that people just don’t want to have around. Be nice!
2. Be around young people. I’ve been substitute teaching for 22 years since I retired. I’m in really tough schools. But this keeps me young. It’s amazing to have kids into their 30’s come up, and tell me how much they appreciate having had me in school.
3. Be active until your body stops you. My hobby is hiking. I hike 3 or 4 times a week - snow, rain, 0 or 90 degrees F here in the Midwest where I live. Enjoy your neighborhood and nature. Most Medicare plans cover rec centers. Join one!

These are a few bonus picks:

a. Say hello to everybody. Seriously, buck the trend of silence. Force yourself to smile and say “hi”.

b. Have lofty goals, and attack them a little bit at a time. Start lifting with 1 pound weights. Walk a few hundred yards. Slowly over months and months of consistent workouts increase the amount you do.

c. If you have an injury, it might take a year of daily exercises to get back in shape. Make your physical therapy count. Physical therapy works if you religiously keep at it. (Sometimes PT’s push too hard. Talk to them, and they’ll work with you.)

d. Be inquisitive. There is so much to see, do, and learn.

e. Be nice. Did I say that already? It doesn’t matter. Force yourself to be nice.

Edit: As we age, we reach a point where we want to remain independent, but we are losing the ability to handle complex situations well. I am 75 years old, and I will soon be needing somebody to advocate for me in the medical system. Before I had an optional spinal fusion at 68 years, I made a point to solicit advice from my children and a few relatives. We made a “group” decision. Get in the habit of involving those younger than you in your medical decisions.

Learn to trust and have faith in your loved ones when dealing with your independent living and medical issues. I’ve experienced too many cases where this didn’t happen, and it didn’t work out well - physically for the senior and emotionally for the family and myself. Don’t be too independent!

Edit 2:

Sadly, there are people that will take advantage of you. There are rude people, mean people, thoughtless people… Protect your interests - emotionally and materially. However, there is a benefit to society (and to you) in doing what you can to engage in a positive manner people with these traits.

Although I am not yet 70 (I have 30 years to go), I work with and treat many who are, as I work in the operating room. I see many hip replacements, broken ankles, gallbladder and kidney stone removals, cancer biopsies, and illnesses of all kinds. I’m constantly learning how to avoid the pitfalls of age-related disease, how to be as healthy as possible, and how to enhance one’s quality of life, especially as we get older.

1. Do not stop moving - it’s important to maintain mobility! Whatever you do, just keep walking, it’s so essential for your cardiovascular system and bone health and at the same time, not too strenuous on your joints. No need to win marathons, rather just get up and move. You don’t want to be frail and have to do a hip replacement at the age of 90. I learned in nursing school that once an older adult falls, their mortality rate increases by at least 20% because they stop walking, as they are afraid to fall again thereby they begin to lose muscle, bone mass, circulation, etc. creating a vicious cycle of weakening their physical health. Walking, gardening, swimming, tai chi, line dancing, there are many low-impact activities to do that can enrich your physical health. Take care not to do anything too daring that may break your bones (ie. skateboarding, skiing, horseback riding). If you take away anything from this, I cannot stress enough that mobility is the key!
2. Do not stop learning - if you don’t use it, you lose it, which is exactly what happens to your brain. You need to keep making new neural connections and sharpen your brain’s ability, aka neuroplasticity. Always try to learn something new every day and if possible, take classes. You can learn a new instrument online! You can audit university courses! You can take up a new hobby like photography or woodwork, and learn how on YouTube. At the same time, learning gives you a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
3. Do not stop caring about your health. You have many more years to live, how do you want to feel each day? You need good health to feel good. There are many things to do in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat fresh, unprocessed food for maximum nutrient intake, limit sugar and seed oils, limit processed foods, take care of your gut microbiome with fermented foods. Lift weights to maintain your muscle and bone mass (we lose 10% muscle mass per decade). Wear sunscreen, protect your skin. I suppose these tips on health could apply to any age, but perhaps even more so for older adults as the body isn’t functioning as it used to when it was a teenager. I myself follow these rules, I limit sugar, processed foods, limit seed oils, and do my best to eat fresh, unprocessed food. I make my own yogurt and berry jam, I always eat a cup of raspberries as a snack for antioxidants and fibre. Same goes for sunscreen and weights. I recommend going to the doctor and getting tested for any issues, and ask how you can proactively improve your health. For example, if you have urinary retention, if you are a male, do you need to check your prostate? If you are a female, do you need to take more D-mannose to decrease UTI symptoms? How is your weight? Many diseases are exacerbated by higher BMIs. It’s also at this age where your health shows your lifestyle habits from your younger years, as well as any genetic predisposition to certain diseases.

Here’s to living well at any age :)

My grandma is over 70 years old.

But, she still lives a happy and healthy life.

The secret?

There isn’t one.

All of the things she does are the things that are obvious to keep a person happy and healthy.

If you want to be happy and healthy in your 70s, then avoid doing some things.

Here are the things you should avoid:

• Being sedentary

When you’re 70 years old, your energy isn’t the same as it was when you were young.

But, that doesn’t mean that you should do nothing.

Moving is key for your health.

Make sure to move for 15-30 minutes a day.

Not intense, just move.

Here are the things that you can do:

1. Gardening
2. Morning walks
3. Do stretches

Just by doing these for 15–30 minutes, you will increase your health.

It’s good for your mood as exercise lowers stress levels.

It’s good for your limbs to keep being active and mobile.

It’s good for slowing down the muscle loss rate as it keeps your muscles active.

So, just be as active as you can.

• Social Isolation

Most 70-year-olds don’t care too much about money.

They care about love and social connection.

They want to be with their family and friends.

So, when you are 70 years old, make sure to not be socially isolated.

Loneliness can increase the risk of:

1. Cognitive decline
2. Depression
3. Heart disease.

Yes. loneliness is a serious thing.

So, make sure to engage in social activities.

Talk to a neighbour.

Talk to your family members.

Talk to your friends.

All of these things will help you become happier.

• Bad diet

Now, when you are 70, you have more room to have a bad diet.

Why?

Because, you’ve lived the life.

It’s okay to eat what you want once in a while.

But, underline once in a while.

Yes, eating your favourite food makes you happy.

But, eating healthy foods is still one of the most important things.

So, eat your favourite food 1–3x a week.

But, besides that, eat a balanced diet, which consists of:

1. Carbohydrates (rice, potatoes, sweet potatoes, bread)
2. Protein (eggs, meat, fish)
3. Healthy fats (avocados, nuts)
4. Vitamins and minerals (vegetables and fruits)

When you are 70 years old, lower your carbs and healthy fats intake.

But, that doesn't mean to not eat it at all.

So, eat a balanced meal and listen to your body.

There you go, these are the things you should avoid in your 70s.

Once again, the goal for most 70-year-olds is to be happy and healthy.

So, these 3 things will maintain your happiness and health.

Give it a try!

I have been 70 now for a few months. Here are the things I choose to avoid from now til the day I leave this mortal coil

#1-the scorn of others for things I choose to do in my daily life. I refuse to have anyone tell me that what I wear, what I eat, what I do with my time isn’t what I should be doing. So what if I garden in my pajamas til noon. So what if I eat ice cream instead of a healthy balanced meal. So what if I decide one day to go solo hiking. So what if I read banned books. All of this is my choice and it does not affect anyone but me.

#2-I avoid unpleasant people. I do not need you in my life if you don’t make me happy. I can certainly tolerate those who sometimes disagree with me as long as they can do so respectfully.

#3-I avoid convention. Convention is boring. I don’t have enough time left in my life to do boring things. I want flash, and bang, and wow some times. I want fireworks and dazzling sunsets.

1. Don’t buy green bananas. Plan experiences as soon as possible rather than scheduling them months or years in advance. Look for shortcuts in attaining goals that don’t sacrifice quality. For me, this has meant self-publishing my fiction rather than seeking traditional publishing and risking that my words might never be read. It also meant packing as much travel as possible into the first decade after retirement.
2. Don’t wait to call old friends. Social connections are crucial to maintaining emotional health and preventing cognitive decline. And we never know when we might miss the chance for a final encounter.
3. Don’t text and drive, bike, walk, or negotiate stairs. We don’t multitask well as we age and need to focus attention on potentially dangerous activities. Two friends have died and another sustained serious injuries falling down stairs in their homes.

BONUS CAVEAT: Don’t hoard money or possessions. Make sure you have as much money as you’ll need to live comfortably and look for ways that the rest can benefit others. Your kids won’t want most of your stuff when you die and your treasured collections might become a burden to them.

I'm 69, I won't be 70 for 6 months, but here is what I avoid.

The news. I used to follow the news religiously, people would ask me how I knew something, and I would say from the newspaper, which carried far more news, than the digital media, or the TV could ever cover.

I found, I was mad, stressed angry, all the time, over the stupid things various levels of government were doing. I used to be very active in trying to change the world, but in all those years, I never made a difference. During covid I found I had lost my people skills, and I would be aggressive in conversations, with people. I don't want to be that person. Given that my advocacy never made an difference in 50 years, why would I think I could change things now? So I largely gave up following the news. My blood pressure dropped 5 points.

Sudden bursts of energy. So many of the people I know who have died, died after shoveling the snow for the first time of the season. Blows my away. Keep yourself fit, don't let yourself get into a rut, always keep active, so that first snow shovel, isn't an unusual burst of energy.

Smoking. My mother and my grandmother kept smoking until they had COPD , and then died of cancer. Two of my friends with COPD died when they got COVID. Both my mother and grandmother said that their was no sense in quitting smoking, since they reached 70 without any ill effects. Then it claimed both of them. My mother watched her mother die, and kept smoking.

Main thing: 1. Try not to fall. I got rid of all my high heels because I saw an older lady fall at church waiting in line for dinner.( I just turned 70.) My older aunt way past 70 fell and died while trying to hang curtains. My mom, 88, ( who died just one day before my birthday, a few days ago) fell and bled profusely all over the floor, the hall, my son’s car, the elevator at the hospital, and the ER. Just 3 examples. But she died of bronchitis coupled with a UTI, after contracting many other illness in assisting living.

2. Avoid “junk” food. Eat right.

3. Avoid complaining all the time. No one wants to hear your problems. Well, maybe this is too harsh. Complain very sparingly and only if things are really bad for you.

I could list a lot more.

I turn 68 today, so I’m a bit shy of 70, but here are the three things I would list:

1. Avoid sitting all day in front of the TV. Get up and move, even if it’s just puttering in the garden or taking short walks around the neighborhood or to the local cafe.
2. Avoid not drinking enough liquids. My Dad was chronically dehydrated because he would forget to drink water. A UTI in an elderly person is much worse. It can lead to behavior much like dementia — forgetfulness, “phasing in and out”, confusion, etc. Keep a glass by the sink and drink one glass every time you walk by that sink, starting first thing in the morning.
3. Avoid staying alone all the time. Find ways to interact with others. Join a book discussion group, bird-watching group, dominos club, Meetup about something that interests you, whatever. Get out of the house and meet other people. Loneliness kills.

74 year-old man here, I have six.

Trying to recapture your misspent youth …

(No more stag-dos abroad for me)

Showing too much flesh in public …

(Not that I’m a fan of sunbathing anyway)

Dressing like a young man …

(Don’t be ‘the oldest swinger in town’)

Acting like a 7 year-old …

(You won’t just bounce back up off the floor when that rope slips off the branch!)

Overestimating your strength and capabilities …

(It rarely ends well)

Neglecting your regular visit to the barber’s/hairdresser’s …

(It’s not a good look)

That’s it for now, if I think of anymore, I’ll add them on.

Original question: What three things should a person avoid once they are past 70 years old?

My list is much longer than three. But these are the top three.

1. Avoid activities that might result in injuries. Your body is not 20 years old any more and takes much longer to heal than it used to. I have learned this the hard way. I have visited more ER rooms since 70 than before 70.
2. Avoid issues that would alienate your family. They are your most important asset at this stage of your life. You will need their help in the upcoming years. You may not agree upon everything but it is not worth alienating them. Relationships are more important than being right.
3. Avoid wasting your time. Avoid time wasters. You have limited time left. Use it to the best of your abilities to make the greatest changes in the world around you. Have a purpose to get up in the morning. It may be tempting to want to relax and watch tv. Avoid it. It will lead to an earlier grave than most anything.

I will add one thing to the fine list you have already received.

Avoid…Vanity injuries

This class of injuries is caused by doing things you shouldn’t do anymore, such as climbing ladders or shovelling snow. You do them because you don’t want to admit you are old, and you don’t want others to think you are old. Yes, I can hear the ripped 70 y/o’s screaming as they read this, protesting about how fit they are, but nobody is the same at 70 as they were at 60. Maybe you can still shovel snow but can’t do it as fast as your younger self or your younger neighbors. If you try to keep up with them, your back will likely go “twang” and have you hobbling around on a cane for six weeks, looking real old.

It doesn’t take much to push an old body too far. Say you are a 70 y/o guy doing your daily 2-mile walk around the park’s fitness trail, proud of your brisk pace, when you hear familiar female voices chatting in the far distance behind you. Two 60 y/o ladies, Betty and Sue Ann, are taking their daily power walk. Slowly but surely the voices grow louder as they gain on you. This is intolerable. You can’t let two old women pass you, so you speed up, taking longer strides than your old legs can handle. Somehow you survive your workout with a personal record for the course, but it will take a week of rest, heating pads, and ibuprofen before you walk again.

The list goes on and on. I finally conceded ten years ago, at age 70, that I could no longer hop out of the pool at the end of my swim, but had to climb out like an old person or make my way to the side where there is a ladder or stairs. This lesson was learned the hard way, with an attempted hop that caused a strained groin that took forever to heal.

After I post this, I will make my way down the stairs, and out the door to the end of the driveway to fetch the newspaper. I am able to bend down and get it, but early in the morning, before the back has warmed up, the prudent thing to use is the gadget below even if the neighbors are watching.

image source: Amazon

My top 3.

And I’m north of the 10th anniversary of my 50th birthday. Somewhere, I’m just not sure.

First, acting old. Most people hit 70 and suddenly start acting old. They eat early bird dinners. They don’t drive at night. They can’t go for a long walk. They’re retired but can’t return phone calls. And pretty soon they start looking old and walking old.

Instead, forget about your age. Do everything you should have been doing at 40 to stay in good health. Then keep doing all the things that you used to enjoy and slowly gave up. And most of all stop acting and looking old. Seriously, it’s not a good look.

Second, thinking old. Most people hit 70 and mentally give up. They retire so they can do, well, nothing. They spend hours watching mindless TV and then can’t remember what was even on. As well as what they walked to the bedroom to get.

Instead, keep your mind active. If you have a job you like keep working. If you retire then recreate your life into something meaningful. Oh, and turn off the TV. Believe me, you won’t miss anything. And you just might start remembering stuff like what was in the bedroom.

Third, speaking old. Most people hit 70 and start talking old. They’re always saying, “Oh, I’m too old for that.” Or constantly telling you about their aches and pains and how old they feel. And you know what, as they constantly remind themselves they start believing it.

Instead, never utter the words, “I’m old.” I don’t care how old you are. And purposely forget when you were born so you can’t remember your age. Then do the things you like and never speak of age again. You’ll surprise yourself and frankly shock others. It’s fun.

A friend of mine, who is a bit older than me, has a bumper sticker on his BMW M5 which says, “Growing old is mandatory, acting old is optional.”

My philosophy of life even if sometimes I do forget what I went to the bedroom for.

You’ll age successfully but only as you purposefully forget your age.

I am over 70. The question needs turning on its head. There is almost nothing the over-70 needs to avoid. If you have lived this long, to reach your ‘three-score years and ten’, you can’t be doing too much wrong.

The few I can think of:

• Negative thoughts: about people; about circumstances; about things you are now unable to do, or do less well than you could; thinking you are no longer of value to society.
• Being isolated: interacting with people is important for mental health.
• Being idle: physical or mental idleness is very bad for body and mind. If you don’t use either, they will atrophy and you will be able to do even less.

Much more important is what you do:

• Engage with people: your neighbours, community groups, hobbies etc
• Volunteer.
• Get your steps in every day - walk (or run!) as far and as energetically as you can several times each week, every week.
• Keep lifting heavy items (with care, using the right technique); once those muscles go, they will be very hard work to get back.
• Eat a varied diet with regular meals - and not too much.
• Vitamin D: if you don’t live in a sunny place, make sure your vitamin D levels are high to sustain your immune system.
• Keep the brain working - learn something new - challenge yourself.
• Look for solutions, not problems.

I am only 63 with the body of a 70+ year old man. The easiest thing is don't get old. What I mean is take care of your body and mind. The mind is just keep it active, read, read do more than watch tv or listen to the radio for your news for example. Take care of your body. If you are over weight lose when your are young it gets harder as you age and harder to keep it off. I am talking about a couple of pounds I am talking about what your doctor tells you. Stay moving, walking and exercise is important. Be kind to your joints don't abuse them, eat healthily food that is good for your body. See your Doctor they will help you. I can say this because I did non of those things. I am morbidly obese I have been able to lose 40 pounds on the last year and it has been difficult with more to go. I am diabetic, have high blood pressure and cholesterol. If I had lost the weight when I was younger I wouldn't have these diseases. I also have diabetic neuropathy. That is when nerves on your body are damaged. Without medication the pain would bee unbearable. I also have diabetic retinopathy. That is bleeding in the back of your eyes that can cause blindness. Thank God I have a specialist that gives me laser treatments in my eyes to remove the broken blood vessels so I don't go blind. I have more medical problems due to not taking care of myself. Please do not make the same mistake. I don't approve of body shaming but I do believe in body awareness.

1. Stop watching political news. It is so messed up, there is no reason to get upset about it anymore. The U.S. government is full of a bunch of childish morons who only want power and revenge at the expense of the people they are supposed to represent.
2. Ignore nasty children who feel they need to tell you what to do with your life. You lived your life for them while they were growing up, now it’s your turn to enjoy life. They don’t need your money or favors. They will still find fault with you because they don’t like your choices. Well too damn bad, you don’t tell them what to do. I have a daughter who disowned me because she had a falling out with her mother. I did nothing wrong. Therefore, I could care less. Stay away from me. After my late wife passed, I met another lady. My other daughter has attacked me for it making wild and untrue accusations. As of this writing, she hasn’t spoken to me in over four months. Stay away from me. My third daughter and I still get along. But then again, she has the good sense to remain civil.
3. Don’t do anything stupid. Over 70 means you cannot do what you did at 30, even though you think you can. Stay off of ladders and don’t lift anything beyond your ability! Dump your pride and get help! Stay active!

I’m in my upper 60’s, but I’ve had a pretty rough life, so…

Don’t get down on the floor w/o having a way to get up off the floor. That may include crawling to something stable that you can use to lift/pull yourself up. Or bring a stool or folding chair.

Don’t assume that the way you’ve been doing something (for how many years) is still the best (or acceptable) way to do it. Don’t stop learning, esp. about things you do.

Don’t pass on programs and benefits for seniors because you can ‘get by’ without it/them. Many have perks that you don’t know about.

I’ll add one thing to do; when you get up to go into another room, say aloud what/why you’re going into the other room. Vocalizing and hearing it uses different parts of the brain than just thinking, so you’re much more likely to remember why you are going.

• Keep listening to your heart (and body). Have your heart, prostate and colon checked before they check you. (If you don’t have a prostate, skip the digital rectal check.)

• Do not stop reading. Keeping your mind active and healthy is as important as physical exercise. If your mind breaks down, it will pull everything down with it. Also, keep using the internet and your cell phone — your world is getting smaller, and these things keep you connected to the world. (Just ease a bit on the adult sites.)
• Stop doing those handstands. You are past 70 now, and you have nothing to prove. Those handstands are really bad for your heart, muscles and back (see the first item), and doing handstands at your age, shows you might have two or three marbles rolling around upstairs.

(Seriously.)

SOURCES: Google images.

I like some of these answers, they are funny.

Well, I’m not close to 70 at this point, but if I were, this is what I’d avoid:

• People who would tell me what is appropriate for my age. Everyone is an individual, even 70 year olds. If I enjoy going out, fine. If I like wearing certain outfits, fine. If I like doing certain activities, fine. If the only reason you are telling me I can’t do certain things is because I am a certain age, and there is no other concrete reason for it that goes to my individual capabilities, then just keep moving.
• People who are negative. I want to enjoy life, no matter how old I get, and a lot of people as they get older just get crankier. Don’t want to be surrounded by negative energy in my twilight years.
• Anything that they don’t enjoy. I hope that when you get to 70, you have the ability to just say no to stuff you don’t want to do, whether it be working full time, putting up with people who you don’t have to take care of, activities you no longer enjoy. I certainly want a life of peace when I get that old, that’s for sure.

THINGS YOU SHOULD AVOID ONCE PAST 70:

1. Arm wrestling contests with physically fit young women.
2. Wearing clothes that are highly fashionable for people half your age or less.
3. Staring at hot young babes without taking your blood pressure medication first.
4. Buying anything that sounds like a great deal, from someone who talks your language, looks like you, and makes you trust him.
5. Signing up for a brand new 30 year mortgage.
6. Using your various doctor visits as social occasions.
7. Always asking for low salt food.
8. Assuming you can do ANYTHING the way you did it 20 years ago
9. Attempting to assert you wisdom and knowledge of the world, when that world no longer exists.
10. Grumbling about EVERYTHING. You really have no clue what's going on now, and even if you do, there’s not much you can do about it.
11. Do the one thing you can do. VOTE.
12. And damnit, pay attention! The question asked for THREE things not 12 things! What are you, getting old or something?

WHAT THREE THINGS SHOULD A PERSON AVOID WHEN THEY ARE PAST 70?

I don’t know what men over 70 should avoid so can only speak as a 73 year old woman. Bear with me.

The first thing to avoid is parties.

Avoid parties at all costs. It doesn’t matter what kind of party you are invited to, or who you should be trying to please, if you accept the invitation and go to a party you will live to regret it.

1. You will be completely stuck when it comes to what to wear. Your wardrobe that’s now filled with flowery, long sleeved shirts that cover your wobbly arms, far-too-tight polyester pants that ride up your bum when you walk, and silly, peaked caps in various renderings of red, white, and blue are just not suitable to wear at parties. And none of your 20 pairs of ‘sensible’ shoes will look good with anything.
2. Don’t even think about what to do with your hair. Now that you can see your scalp shining through your thinning gray bob, and it is not long enough to hide your turkey neck or to cover your multi-lined cleavage it is just a no-hoper.
3. Make-up, as you know by now, is a disastrous forgone conclusion. It just will not work. If you don’t wear any you will disappear into the woodwork, and if you do have the guts to deck yourself out in your gold, sparkling eye shadow and your new red blush you will only look like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and be put to work to keep the kids happy.

So parties are out.

The second thing to avoid is kids.

1. Kids of all descriptions are no longer good for the constitution.
2. Even though they may be your own grand kids, and even if they are the nicest kids on the block they will be constantly at you, ‘Grandma, come and play on the swings with me’. Or, ‘Grandma, come and play a video game with me,’ or ‘Grandma, come and play electric trains’.
3. First of all, you will want to take your nap. Nobody disturbs your nap. And secondly, you will not be able to get your bum in between the handles of the swings, you will not be able to make head nor tail of a video game - what are they anyway? and if you are foolish enough to get down on the floor to play with electric trains they will have to hire a crane to get you up.

No kids are definitely out.

The third thing to avoid is holidays.

1. If you think in your wildest dreams that you will be able to enjoy a road trip, think again. Do you really want to be sweating for 10 hours in 90 degree heat in traffic jams, or maybe trying to read a road map with your bifocals sliding down your nose in the heat, or your unreliable bladder suffering in silence between rest areas? I think not.
2. And Disney World with the kids? OMG! Do you really want to stand in wavy lines that double back on each other, then double back on each other again, then double back ….. or slump around, sweat dripping off your chin holding your cotton candy, or all but lose consciousness on the big dipper rides? I don’t think so.
3. And if you think it would be nice to visit Aunty Maud in Australia, brace yourself. When they say you will be in ‘coach’ don’t imagine you will be able to get out and stretch your legs to avoid a blood clot, or that you will be able to lie back in your seat without your chair ending up in somebody’s dinner, or that you won’t be totally comatose for two days with jet lag when you get there. Plane trips to Australia, or even to Hawaii, are a disaster waiting to happen.

Holidays of all descriptions are definitely out.

So now that you have decided not to go to parties, not to have anything to do with kids, and not to even think about leaving home, what’s left?

That’s a silly question - you just grab your old man by the pants, of course, and drag him upstairs to make hay while the sun shines.

EDIT I wanted to know what had happened to this one! I hope you enjoyed it.

I avoid reading articles on how to extend my lifespan because most of the advice is for people up to the age of 65. After that, I guess they have no advice to give because they assume we’re circling the drain, anyway, so…

I avoid trying to hit the high notes when I sing, because unless you’ve been doing vocal training daily your entire life—there are no more high notes.

I no longer try to navigate around the house in the dark. For some reason, whatever radar system I had that worked so well in the past has abandoned me and no matter where that damn ottoman is, I’ll be sure to find it and fall right over it, arms and legs flailing helplessly.

Too bad you only asked for three. Having reached 70 five years ago, I’ve already got many, many more with many, many more on the way, I hope.