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RABBI SCHWARTZ'S REVENGE JOKES OF THE WEEK
Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer yid is having breakfast. One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy’s pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor.
Without a word of protest, Yankeleh pays his bill and leaves.
“Not much of a man, was he?” says one of the bikers.
“Not much of a driver, either,” says the waitress. “He just backed his truck over three motorcycles.”
"I'd like this book on revenge please"
Cashier: "You'll pay for that."
I’m going to start a restaurant called: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold. You know what we’re going to serve? Just desserts...
To the thief who stole my Microsoft Office... I will get my revenge... you have my Word...
A blind guy walks into a primarily female bar. During a break in the music, he loudly says "hey, y'all wanna hear a blond joke?"
Being blind, he doesn't realize how many blond women are in the bar. The bartender walks up to him and tells him "Alright man, I know you're blind and new around here, so let me offer you some advice. I am 6'5 and blond. I wrestled in college and I work out everyday. The girl to your left is blond, and she's an MMA fighter who paralyzed an opponent last year by accident . The girl on your right is blond, and she's a boxer. The girl at the table behind you is blond, and she just got out of prison for killing a man. At the table next to her is yet another blond, who beats up people for a drug ring regularly and frequently escapes from jail to enact revenge on people who don't pay up.
Now tell me, cowboy, do you really want to tell a blond joke?"
The blind man sighs. "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it 5 times."
Unbelievable!!! My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, so in revenge I stole her wheelchair...
Well, guess who came crawling back today...
On the day Elka received her learner’s permit, I agreed to take her out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, I hopped in the back behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” she asked.
“Elka, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” I replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”
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